Have you named your stoma?

Andy Fletcher

Andy Fletcher

As for me …. I call mine “The Spitter” – because it always plays up when I have the bag off …

Whilst talking to fellow ostomates, I’ve discovered that some people like to give their stoma a name – after all, it’s a huge part of their lives. However, what’s behind the name…. do you have a comical name, or a name that has meaning?

As a bit of fun, I’ve asked my friends on the Facebook group “Singles for stoma’s” what they call theirs. The group is worldwide, so there are some interesting and varied names !

Andrew simply calls his “Stoma”.
Louise says hers is called “Doris” – which is what her son named it.
Marylou calls hers “Little Man” – after her ex-husband!.
Chrissy’s daughter named it “Sally”.
Gina’s son named it “Crystal”, because it’s a gem.
Don has named his “Chunk-O-Gut”, because that’s what it is ….
Graham has simply called his “Ted”, short for S**t head.
Ann has called hers “Skippy” because she wears a pouch!
Emma has imaginatively called hers “Billy The Skid”.
Cara named hers “Florence” – after the 5th Golden Girl.
Steve has given his a meaningful name … “Squirt”
Cheryl calls hers “Sukie” – from one of the witches in the film “Witches of Eastwick” – apparently it’s an apt name!
Andrew’s stoma is called “Sequel” – as it’s his second.
Belinda calls hers “Winnie” (the poo).
Kimberley named hers “Oscar” as he rumbles and grumbles like Oscar the Grouch.
Michael’s stoma reminds him of the ex who was always giving him s**t).
Laura’s children named hers “Stella” – she did this so the children would be less afraid of it.
Mary came up with the name “BERT” – Brilliant Elimination Replacement Tool” – previously called “Sheldon”.
Lesley has named hers “Lol” – for no reason other than it’s a favourite name.
Tammy has two ostomies – the Colostomy is called “Peanut”, and the Urostomy is called “Niagara Falls” – no reason needed for that!.
Jerry has called his Jeremy Corbyn, because it’s always full of it ….
Carlene has named hers Gremlin, because there is no controlling her.
Cindy has called hers “Lol’ Loo Lu” as it’s a real a**hole.
Lauri uses the name “Gabby” for hers – because she loves to talk!
Trish has named hers “Itch” – because she has had it for 7 years.
Cheryl has called her Stoma “Obama” – because everything that comes out is crap.
Julie calls hers “Rosie” – the reason … “It’s by my grandaughter. She was helping me with a bag .change. I had called it yucky. And she had said “Nanny call it a nice name and it will be happy and be nice to you “ so I said you pick a name and she picked Rosie 😊”.
Cheryl has used several names in the past … “ and” Beelzebub”, but now calls it “Stinky McGee”.
Cindy calls hers “Stormy” because when she first got him, he was like a storm.
Debra uses the name “Stella”.
Becki’s children called hers “Little Squishy” from the film “Finding Nemo”.
Danielle named hers “Stu” – short for either Stupid of Stupendous, depending on his mood.
Christina calls her stoma “ Cybil” – after the movie about a woman who has multiple personalities.
Joe named his “Little Fecker” … after those times when it has a mind of it’s own!

As for me …. I call mine “The Spitter” – because it always plays up when I have the bag off …

My thanks to my friends at the Singles with stoma’s Facebook group for their help compiling this list.

Have you named yours? – if so, does it have a meaningful name? – why not use the reply button below and share the name to the world …

Meet Andy

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